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I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Why Movies have Parental Guidelines

Buddy has no problem with Hubby having sex, he would just prefer I wasn't involved. Buddy "found out" we have sex because he asked us directly and we responded honestly. But the knowledge blew his mind and he was not happy about it.

As I have mentioned before, Buddy has seen a lot of movies. Some were perfectly appropriate, lots were not. A few were pornography. As Buddy became more and more comfortable talking about everything (not just sex), we learned that he has seen some very graphic, degrading stuff. I'm going to spare you the details, but I was traumatized just hearing about it. I can only imagine what it did to Buddy's view of sex, especially when it comes to women.

Parental guidelines aren't much good when there are no parents around to enforce them.

I remember walking through a home improvement store with my boys not too long after getting home. I was holding Buddy's hand and he looked up at me and said "when I met you, I thought you never have sex. You look nice and smart, not like a girl who has sex."

We talk about sex quite a bit in our house. We figure so much damage has already been done and ignoring it wont make it go away. I do not want my little boy to grow up and think that a woman can't enjoy sex unless she is bad or dirty. I don't want him to think that there are girls you marry and girls you have sex with, but you can't have both in one partner.

A few nights ago I was tucking Buddy in and I went to kiss him goodnight. He turned away from me and said "You're disgusting." I felt very confused and hurt. But when we talked about why he said that, he looked me in the eye and said "You know, from before." And I did know, he is still upset that I have sex. How can I be good if I have sex?

So we talked about about it, again. I'm happy for the chance to talk about his confusion about sex and morality. It allow us the chance to work it out his misconceptions together as a family.


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