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I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Monday, December 15, 2014

I Don't Have a Free-Range Kid

I know that Buddy has a lot of rules.

I know your child is allowed to watch scarier movies and play more violent video games. I know your child doesn't have a list of chores to follow. I know your child is permitted to do what they like and be a free-range kid.

Please, I don't need to be reminded of all the things your child is allowed to do that mine is not.

I love Buddy with all my heart. He is a huge source of pride and joy for me. I do not want to change him or fix him. He is not a work in progress, he is not a project we are working on completing. I think Buddy is wonderful just the way he is.

Like any parent, I want to teach him. That is part of our job as parents, isn't it?


Buddy hasn't always had someone in  his life who was willing or able to think about what was best for him. Because of this, he has spent many years living a pretty chaotic life. The rule he is used to is; do what you like but don't get caught. Despite this, he isn't a bad kid by any means.

We, as his parents, love him so much that we want him to succeed in life beyond our four walls.

We are starting from scratch in some areas and working from a deficit in others. Part of our strategy as his parents is having a lot of rules for Buddy to follow because he doesn't always have the best instincts.This is how he is learning to make smart choices.

He has come a long way in the past year. We see growth every day, but we also see him struggling. The more structure and consistency we can give him, the safer he feels and the more he grows.

So yes, I know that Buddy has a lot of rules. Thank you for noticing.

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