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I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Please, No More Homework

Last Friday Buddy, Hubby and I attended Buddy's spring parent-teacher conference.

We heard from Mr. Black that Buddy has areas where he struggles, mostly in multi-step problem solving and organizing written ideas.

In general, though, Buddy is progressing well and is "right where he should be" academically. He has also made huge strides behaviorally as is making smart choices when deciding who to hang out with during school time.

This is wonderful and Hubby and I were so happy to hear it.

However.

Mr. Black was visibly surprised when we told him that homework has become a battle ground, especially math. At school, Buddy is apparently very math-minded. We asked about a few areas that are a constant issue at home and were told that Buddy has no trouble with them at school.

This week Hubby was out and I was on homework duty. Buddy was already having a bad day and he had less than no interest in finishing his last 30 minutes of math and writing. I have been very busy at work lately and had less than no interest in listening to him complain non-stop for 30 minutes.

After 5 frustrating and unproductive minutes, I shut Buddy's book and told him homework was done. That I had no interest in spending my evening walking him through work Mr. Black had told us he was able to do independently. That he was free to go to his room for the remainder of the evening.

And he didn't look or talk to me for about 12 hour.

What do I want from Buddy? Not for him to sail through homework. Not for him to be a straight A student (or straight 4, C or whatever-the-heck-system student.) These things would be nice, but they aren't really that important to me.

I want Buddy to know he is loved and safe. I want him to be happy at home and at school. I want him to do his best. But if he isn't feeling loved and happy, he isn't able to do his best. The first 2 points directly affect the third.

So we're going to cut back on homework, at least for a bit. Hubby and I are going to try and figure out what we can change to try to set Buddy up to succeed. Hopefully we can come up with a plan that works better for our family.

Because what we are doing right now isn't working for any of us.

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