About Me

My photo

I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Father's Day

Father's Day is Sunday. I'm not going to give you any details, just in case Hubby decides to check my blog before then.

For most of my life, Father's Day was a weird day for me.

I have a biological father and a step-father. My birth dad isn't really much of a part of my life, although he does flit in and out unpredictably. He's not a bad guy, but he is a bad dad. My step-father is my Dad, but he died in 2009 from pancreatic cancer.

Father's Day for the 4 years between my Dad's death and when we adopted Buddy were hard days. And the first Father's Day after adopting was difficult too. Our honeymoon period had ended and we were trying to navigate the difficult task of being a family when we didn't really understand what that meant.

This week, we are started a search for Buddy's biological father. Buddy told us he wants to know who his birth dad is, and so we've found someone in his home country who will hopefully be able to find that information for us.

I guess what I'm trying to say in all this is that sometimes in a non-traditional family, holidays and celebrations don't look like the perfect picture Hallmark intended them to. They can be hard and sad. And people who aren't living the same kind of life don't always understand.

So, I am going to say the same thing here as I will say to Hubby. The same thing I tell myself. And Buddy. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel how you THINK you should feel on these days. If it's hard, let it be hard. If you're sad, allow yourself to feel sad.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads* out there. I hope you have an awesome day. You deserve it!

Especially to the most important Dad in my life, my own amazing husband!

*Dad = biological, adoptive, step, foster, and Father-figures. 

5 comments:

  1. You are right to say that these celebratory days can be very tough and bittersweet for so many people. Social Media is awash with happy images and stories at such times and it can be so difficult if you don't fit the stereotypical family setup on such days. We lost our lovely Pops in September so Fathers Day is a toughie for us this year as well as the usual adoption slant and issues that can arise. Good luck finding Buddy's biological father. I hope the outcome is positive and helpful for everyone. I'm sending a Happy Fathers Day to your hubby as well because they should be able to shout from the rooftops that they are Dad's with bright hearts. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for all of that! :-)

      Delete
  2. It can be a difficult day, you are right, I hope you manage to enjoy yours a little.x Thanks for sharing on #WASO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It actually ended up being as nearly perfect as we could have imagined! I'm so thankful!

      Delete
    2. It actually ended up being as nearly perfect as we could have imagined! I'm so thankful!

      Delete