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I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Friday, June 26, 2015

New Shoes. Or Not...

I just bought Buddy a new pair of shoes. He's gone from size 2 to a 5 since September, so it's not his first new pair this year.

He has small feet for a tween. They're the cutest little round feet I have ever seen in my life. I would eat them up, if they didn't stink to high heaven half the time.

When we adopted him almost 2 years ago he was in size 1 shoes. While in country, bought him a pair of over-sized velcro runners because they were the only thing we could find that were close to fitting him.

Once we got home, it was only slightly easier to find footwear. Most size 1 shoes are made for little kids. They not only have velcro-closures but cartoon characters and light-up soles. They aren't the kind of thing a young man wants to wear.

Before Buddy started school, we took him to a huge athletic store to get a pair of gym shoes. They had three pairs of size 1 lace-up runners and none of them appealed to him. He pointed out several pairs he liked, and I explained that because he had small feet, they weren't available in his size.

Little did we know that Buddy had often been teased in the orphanage for having small feet. They also rarely had shoes donated that fit him and he often missed out on fun things like soccer cleats.

So, we experienced our first public melt-down. And, we also didn't get any new shoes that day.

Triggers are funny things. Sometimes they are obvious, but sometimes the most random thing can set Buddy off.

Ever since, either I go shopping for Buddy's shoes alone, we order them online or go to stores that divide the shoes into sections by size. Buddy isn't nearly as sensitive about his small feet anymore, but there is no point in tempting fate.

And we make sure that when Buddy outgrows his shoes that we save them to send to one specific boy back at the orphanage who is a few years younger than Buddy and has small feet himself.

L - New shoes (with end of year friend signatures)  R - Old shoes

4 comments:

  1. One of Eve's earliest memories is being taken by her new foster family to buy shoes. She doesn't remember their name but remembers this. :)

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    1. Funny how something as seemingly every-day as shoe shopping can have such profound impacts on young people.

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  2. Sending the shoes is a very lovely way to keep the connection of part of his past alive. It's awful the things that can be triggers, the things that have hurt our children that we don't know about and they can't tell us about. Like the signed shoes!

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    1. We were so perplexed as to why he was upset, and he wasn't able to vocalize it. It makes sense looking back but we were under-prepared for it in the moment.

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