About Me

My photo

I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The Weirdest Letter I've Ever Written

Right now I shouldn't be blogging, I should be writing a letter. But I need to organize my thoughts, so here I am.

I am working on a letter for Buddy's birth Father. Or rather, I'm fumbling my way through it. Re-writing, re-wording, re-working. And lots of delete, delete, delete...

When we adopted Buddy, we had the chance to met and form a relationship with Buddy's maternal birth family. The opposite was true of his paternal side. We had no information on his birth Father. Not even a name.

About a month ago, Buddy told us he wanted to know who his birth Father is. I had heard from a fellow adoptive Mom about a woman who specializes in doing birth family searches in Buddy's former region. We hired her to find Buddy's birth father.

And she did.

So now we have a face, a name and an address.

But what do I write to the man who fathered my son but doesn't know him at all?

I know for sure we will write and send a letter. I know we will include some pictures of Buddy and our family.  I know we will send some of Buddy's artwork, because his birth Father is an artist. Other than than, I'm at a bit of a loss.

There are so many questions: How did he not know he was Buddy's Father? Does he want to be involved in his life now? Does Buddy have any brothers or sisters?

There are so many things I want to say: Buddy is smart, handsome and funny - he's amazing. We love him so much and are doing all we can to give him a great life.

But I also don't want to overwhelm him. I can't imagine what it is like to find out you have a child, he's already a young man, and he is adopted and lives half the world away. That is a lot to process, I'm sure.

Hence, here I am, blogging instead of writing.

Does anyone have any advice for me?

No comments:

Post a Comment