About Me

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I'm a 30-something wife and mom. My boys are my pride and joy. Together, we are navigating being a forever family post international adoption.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Me at the Moment

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
That I didn't know as much as I think I did. As much as I "prepared", there really wasn't a way to be truly prepared to bring a hurt child into our home. I was so naive.

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
Distinguishing trauma behavior vs bad behavior. The older Buddy gets, and hormones start to kick in, the more and more hard this is to do.

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
My husband. I also get a lot of help from the online community. I have gained so much knowledge from bloggers, Twitter and Facebook.

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
Don't worry about what other people think, worry about what's best for your family.

My perfect adoption support would include… 
I don't believe in perfect. And the support I need changes every day, or even multiple times a day! But I have learned that it is important to ask for help. Whether through leaning on family and friends, therapy, or just giving myself a break, in order to take care of others, I have to take care of myself first.

Reward charts yes/no?
I know they are a big no-no for adopted kids, but we have used an allowance board for Buddy in the past and it worked for us. He is a visual learner and the board helped him keep track of his daily "jobs". Now that he's gotten the hang of things, we don't rely on it any more.

What I hope I can give to my children:
A safe space where he can continue to learn to be honest with the people who love him. The consistency to internalize that no matter what happens I love him and will be here for him always.

When I look into the eyes of my child I see...
His first Mom. They have the same eyes that change color from blue to grey to green. I'm glad he got something so beautiful from her.

If you could take your children anywhere in the world to see something, where would you go?
There are so many places I want to go with my family: Africa, Australia, South America. But if I could only pick one place, I would take him back to his birth country to see his first family. Hopefully we will get a chance to do that in the near future.

Why did you start blogging about adoption?
I was having a hard time processing my feelings, and it was an outlet for me.

Where do you get your blogging inspiration from?
I don't feel as much inspired to blog as compelled. Seeing my feelings written down really helps me work through them. Blogging has made me a better Mom and a better person.

Who is your favorite adoption blogger?
I have so many! I'm going to turn to my Bloglovin' account and list the first 5 blogs that have been recently updated.
Snapshots from Our Journey
The Cork Board
No Bohn's About It
Rage Against the Minivan
The Adoption Social (who I've lifted this blog post idea from - thanks ladies!)

Who is your favorite non-adoption blogger?
Tattoologist. I find the pictures beautiful and fascinating - I love looking at other people's tattoos!

Ot the weekend I can mostly be found...
In my pajamas, un-showered, avoiding work. As much as possible, anyways.

What makes me/my family laugh?
We have voices and personifications for our dogs, Swar and Grem. I have written and deleted further explanation a handful of times, so suffice it to say that those of you that get it, will. Those of you that don't, wouldn't want to know the depth of our weirdness.

Tea or Gin?
During the day I generally drink to water or coffee, I drink tea more often than gin, but I don't have either often. If presented a cup of Earl Grey and a G&T, I would probably pick the latter, though.

The best thing we did this week was...
Went for a walk as a family. The weather is getting warmer (finally! Why do I live in Canada...) and it is nice to be able to get outside without risk of frost bite. Even if that means needing to carry 15 year old Swar after 2/3 of a block because his arthritis is acting up.

In my life at the moment….
- Book – Nick Hornby: Funny Girl. He's been a favorite author of mine for a long time, and I hope this book about a beauty pageant winner turned actress set in the 60s lives up to his previous works.
- Music – Death Cab for Cutie: Kintsugi. We are going as a family to the Death Cab for Cutie / Metric concert this week, and I am trying to catch up on Death Cab's most recent album. I Will Follow You Into the Dark from Plans was our wedding song

- TV program – Buddy and I are watching Lost on Netflix. We're 3 seasons in and just found out the series is being removed April 15th. We're too far in to throw in the towel, but too far out to have a hope of finishing in the next few weeks. The struggle is real.
*This is going up after April 15th. We didn't make it through, but a colleague has lent me his DVDs so we are in the clear
- Food – Thai. Especially Tom Yum soup. Although when it comes to food I'm really not picky. Take, as proof, this picture of the pizza I made for dinner last week. Although, Buddy was the one that ate it, so maybe I'm more selective than I think...

- Pastime – I just started doing yoga every morning, right when I get up. I have been feeling more stiff lately, so I thought it might help. I'm only 2 weeks in, but it seems to make a difference in how I feel throughout the day.

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